Respect and obedience of parents - In light of the Holy Quran and Hadith

Importance of treating one’s mother nicely

Among the parents, in terms of excellence and respect, the father is the superior one and in terms of service, the mother is the superior one.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim:

Translation: It is narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (May Allah be well pleased with him), he says that a certain Companion came to the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and asked:  O Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)!  Who is the most deserving of my kind treatment?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Your mother is the most deserving.  He again asked:  Then whom?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Your mother is the most deserving.  He again asked:  Then whom?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Your mother is the most deserving of your kind treatment.  That Companion asked for the fourth time:  Who is the most deserving of my kind treatment?  Then the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Your father is the most deserving of your kind treatment.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5971)

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has granted 3-fold excellence to serving the mother.  The secret here is that because the mother passes through 3 phases of motherhood in which the father doesn’t participate:  The phase of pregnancy, the phase of delivery and the phase of suckling the infant.

The mother bears the child in her womb for 9 months and also bears all the difficulties that it entails.  She bears labor pains while delivering the child and bears every difficulty with a cheerful heart and becomes the means of bringing the child into the world.  Sometimes, she even endangers her own life to bring a new life into this world.  Then in the phase of suckling the infant, she feeds the child her own milk for 2 years.  For all these reasons, her right to be served has been declared to be 3-folds greater than the right of the father.

Imam Badruddin ‘Ainni (May Allah shower His mercy on him) writes in the explanation of the aforementioned Hadith:

Translation: Muhaddith Tammaam has narrated on the authority of Hadhrat ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas (May Allah be well pleased with them) that a Companion came to the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and said:  I had taken an oath that if Almighty Allah makes you victorious over Makkah, that I would go there and kiss the threshold of the Ka’aba.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  You kiss the feet of your mother.  Indeed, you have fulfilled your oath.  (‘Umdatul Qari, Vol. 15, Pg. No. 141)